Five Mistakes Married Women Make When…Reporters Build Straw Women
I just looked over this article about mistakes women make, the first example is a straw woman argument. The problem is pitched as being about money, but it really, really needs to be about relationship. You see, finances are just an expression of your relationship. If your finances aren’t unified then your finances are one of possibly more pieces of the relationship that are out of order! Your finances could be in order and they would be out of order if your relationship isn’t together. By ‘together’ I mean a major focus of your day to day life. Kids don’t get to be an excuse for the focus and quality of your relationship not being what it should be. If anything the kids need you to get your marriage relationship together!
The whole article is based on several ideas:
- You should always suspect that your marriage is going to fail
- You should always keep yourself separate from your spouse
Here’s the kicker: by keeping yourself separate from your spouse you’ll probably increase the chance of a divorce! The more unity that a marriage has in physical, spiritual, emotional, sexual and financial ways the greater your chance of not getting divorced. When my wife and I got married the pastor, who happened to be my grandfather, sent us down the aisle as a unified, singular person - with two bodies and two wills. The purpose of the marriage ceremony was for us to publicly declare the union that we were prepared to undertake! We are constantly amazed when we run into people who don’t understand why we’re so concerned with unity in our marriage.
Take a straw man out of this equation and the financial advice goes away. In stead the advice should roll down to the relationship and your first priority should be unity. Marriage counseling may be required, but whatever it is you’re going through in a marriage your focus should be first on the marriage and unity and second on finances. If the three reasons people get divorced are money, sex and communication… you better get your communication in order because money and sex come and go with time and age (though many sex researchers have been pouring their grant money into studying older people’s sex lives it seems based on the news reports I’ve seen). If the communication is open and clear then you’ll find the communication will encompass money and sex, but sex and money won’t create communication!
Get out the big, bad wolf and blow down the straw woman, but get ready for communication and unity because that is the one mistake people make, failing to communicate, that has no straw man or straw woman. They’re you, and you’re real.
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