Dave Ramsey mentioned this later on a recent podcast episode (which could have been a repeat) and so I looked it up.  It can be found online in a collection of his writings here.  However, I thought you might like to read the letter because it is quite interesting to see Abe’s approach to helping his family.

Dear Johnston, Your request for eighty dollars I do not think it best to
comply with now. At the various times when I have helped you a little
you have said to me, “We can get along very well now”; but in a very
short time I find you in the same difficulty again. Now, this can only
happen by some defect in your conduct. What that defect is, I think I
know. You are not lazy, and still you are an idler. I doubt whether,
since I saw you, you have done a good whole day’s work in any one day.
You do not very much dislike to work, and still you do not work much,
merely because it does not seem to you that you could get much for it.
This habit of uselessly wasting time is the whole difficulty; it is
vastly important to you, and still more so to your children, that you
should break the habit. It is more important to them, because they have
longer to live, and can keep out of an idle habit before they are in it,
easier than they can get out after they are in.

You are now in need of some money; and what I propose is, that you shall
go to work, “tooth and nail,” for somebody who will give you money for
it. Let father and your boys take charge of your things at home,
prepare for a crop, and make the crop, and you go to work for the best
money wages, or in discharge of any debt you owe, that you can get; and,
to secure you a fair reward for your labour, I now promise you, that for
every dollar you will, between this and the first of May, get for your
own labour, either in money or as your own indebtedness, I will then
give you one other dollar. By this, if you hire yourself at ten dollars
a month, from me you will get ten more, making twenty dollars a month
for your work. In this I do not mean you shall go off to St. Louis, or
the lead mines, or the gold mines in California, but I mean for you to
go at it for the best wages you can get close to home in Coles County.
Now, if you will do this, you will be soon out of debt, and, what is
better, you will have a habit that will keep you from getting in debt
again. But, if I should now clear you out of debt, next year you would
be just as deep in as ever. You say you would almost give your place in
heaven for seventy or eighty dollars. Then you value your place in
heaven very cheap, for I am sure you can, with the offer I make, get the
seventy or eighty dollars for four or five months’ work. You say if I
will furnish you the money you will deed me the land, and, if you don’t
pay the money back, you will deliver possession. Nonsense! If you can’t
now live with the land, how will you then live without it? You have
always been kind to me, and I do not mean to be unkind to you. On the
contrary, if you will but follow my advice, you will find it worth more
than eighty times eighty dollars to you.

I guess we could call this a guest post by Abraham Lincoln

I have a guest post up at DollarFrugal.com today.  It’s actually about a different kind of exchange.  Thanks to Brooke for the great guest post exchange this month!  Whose up for an exchange next month?

This is a guest post by Brooke at a DollarFrugal.com, a 20-something PF blogger who paid off debt quickly and is trying to pay off her mortgage by November 2009 while sending her husband back to college. And doing it one dollar at a time. I strongly recommend you subscribe to her RSS feed and learn some things from her great blog.

Open Lines of Communication Open lines of communication that are needed with a budget shared between two people also transfer to other parts of your marriage. Should we raise our child(ren) in a certain way? I don’t know, let’s discuss it. It’s the same premise as where to spend budgeted monies.

Set a Check and Balance Limit We are all adults, but sometimes our “wants” get the best of us. Set a limit ($100 or $20, depending upon how tight the budget is) that is the “discussion limit”. This will use your spouse check how badly you want an item and reaffirm your joint endeavor to kill debt or raise net worth.

Set Financial Goals Together Setting goals together will cement your relationship and show the other just how much you care about them. You could try brainstorming separately (no peeking!) on what financial goals should be, then come together to discuss each idea.

Build an Emergency Fund For your sanity and your spouse’s. An emergency fund is the easiest way to feel secure and not rely on the evil credit cards. Seriously, just do it.

Even Thinking About the “D” Word Is Bad for Finances Divorce is sad for people and our finances. If you go into the commitment with the idea that marriage is forever, you won’t even consider divorce (of course, there are extenuating circumstances, but you get my point). With divorces come two households and the support of these separate households.

Use Joint Assets to Build “The House’s” Assets The stay-at-home mom is a classic example of this. She can attend one online class per semester, coming out after 5 years with 15 classes (equivalent to more than 3 semesters of college), just using naptime. What about retirement funds? My husband made a lot less than I do, but I funded his IRA because I know it will benefit both of us.

Attack Finances as A Team This supports your “one team, one fight” mentality and solidifies your stance against the rest of the world (or at least corporate America!). Have at least a binder somewhere for the non-bill-payer of the family to reference in case anything should ever happen to the bill-payer. Go over the binder together once a year to ensure it is understandable and current. Agree how much to pay each month and make a budget together.

Find Cheap Hobbies Mountain biking is our favorite pastime these days. Spending time out in the fresh air can’t be beat, in my mind. With cheap hobbies, you are spending quality time together, but not spending a ton of money. We constantly play cards. Another place we spend a MULTITUDE of time is the library. Both of us are college students and our son is learning to read, so we kill a bunch of birds with one stone here. Cheap hobbies are cheap (duh, Brooke) and doing them together means you’re spending time doing something you enjoy together. It doesn’t get any better than that!

Buy a Present for the House Instead of Each Other This may be arguable for some relationships, but it’s worked out great for us. Instead of buying each other trinkets, we buy a quality piece of furniture or sports equipment that we pre-discuss and find at the lowest price. It makes me a lot happier than blingy jewelry or flowers that die! Or try funding just $100 of a Roth IRA for each other instead of presents. It will pay off in a large way later.

Shared Sense of Accomplishment The sense of accomplishment that came when we paid off our debt (Oct 2002) after a year of scrimping and clawing was an adrenaline rush. This is a shared experience much stronger than any night out on the town with friends or flashy car. It is part of our shared identity that no one can take away from us!

Personal finances strengthen marriage in a huge way. Money is often cited as the most common reason for divorce, but I would argue lack of money education is the most common reason for divorce. Educate yourselves together and you’ll gain more than just knowledge!