Set Your Goals Together

What’s a marriage without somewhere to go?  What are you two going to be doing in five years?  Where is your dream home/destination together?  Goals are good - as long as you’re flexible.  In our marriage we have a policy of setting goals that are unanimous.  That doesn’t mean we have the same initial priority for the goals, but we make those goals and priorities unified through discussion.  Financially speaking this has come up as the increase of gasoline, goods, and services causes us to evaluate where we’re going to be adjusting our budget to either trim back in intended purchases or cut out something else to fund the excess in price.

Here are some thoughts on setting goals:

• Know your own goals first - ask your spouse to do the same - coming together prepared to discuss the topic is of great importance.
• Know the priorities of your goals - just because eventually you want to do something doesn’t mean that its your priority for execution.  You may want to be a millionaire eventually, but your priority needs to be getting out of debt first so you can focus on the accumulation of the wealth.
• Be flexible as you discuss the goals so that you can maximize your effectiveness in communication.  As a husband in a Christian household where I’m supposed to lead (Eph. 5:22-25) I don’t take that duty of leadership lightly, or to mean I need to act as a dictator.  Instead we lovingly and graciously discuss the goals as we’re called to (Ephesians 5:21).
• Keep groups of goals.  For our household that has meant buying a Nintendo Wii in the fun category or group and getting out of debt quickly in the finances category.  Those two groups appear as conflicts and so we’re having to prioritize and be flexible.  By grouping the goals you’ll be able to get more perspective than simply listing out 200 goals and then sorting them by priority.  Once you knock out a goal in a group: move to the next one - keeping in mind the other goal groups.
• Keep the importance of time in context as you set goals.  If a Wii is your goal, but a low priority, then let it slip into getting a Wii 2 or ‘the best gaming console at the time (or whatever they call it).
• Make a plan for execution.  If you’re going to be a millionaire don’t just hope it happens, make a plan.  If you’re going to buy a Wii while paying off debt, make a plan.  That may mean setting aside $20.00 a month or some other number until you’ve achieved the amount you’re after.
• Make sure you have rest and are emotionally ready to discuss things.  Sometimes health, sleep or some other distraction will keep you from being mentally ready for this discussion.  Don’t let it slip forever, but make sure you’re both ready.

This list is short and has generalizations, but its a start.  What else would you add?